Beneath the Surface

I've encountered this a couple of times. I should, at all, won't give a budge on this. Probably, it's more of paranoia that they are talking behind my back. For the longest time, I keep telling myself not to delve into this. Nonsense, insinuation of good-for- nothing bitches. Still, I can't stop myself from getting pissed off. Or better yet, I'm pissed off because they're talking bad. Me, on the headlines!

It's more of an instinct. Maybe, of intuition that's going on the right lane. That quiet talks that hide the real business that goes on beneath the surface. It's hard to think I trusted them, for one reason or the other. For the record, I'm not at all affected that my trust was found futile. What cause my woes is the fact that they've got no goddamn business to talk about me.

I knew it from the smiles. From that rather sublime conversations. It's even more annoying when they hunch into each other and make face in unison. How bad I want to get their head squash off. Listen to what people are not saying, and listen is what I did. To my utmost delight it really is sensational. Much to their delight!

I'll be the one to admit that I talk beyond others back. But it's plain talk! Even if I had backstab anyone, I think it was more valid and not just instituted by fury. It was plain, polite small talk that has nothing to offer but boring stuff under the weather. Okay, I can be accused of this. I have to admit. But I have to scold myself time and time again for doing it. And I'm trying my hardest not to do it.

Trust. I hardly give any. I really don't trust anyone. Much more now thatI have decipher the booboos and fuckups. I ain't gonna give any. Even if I will, it will purely be because he/she deserves it. Not because of mere acquaintance and association.

From this day forward, I'll amend the rules. Reconstitute ideas and values. No more of good, ol' paranoia. It's time to hit things my own way.