The tale of a true Warrior

My room's in so much clutter. I've been trying to clean up my abode. Next thing I knew, I was back to reminiscing. Recalling memories. I don't have any idea of how mushy can I get. Yes, I'm a bit of corny and mushy and soppy and all that to say the least.

I was taken by a piece of drawing. It was but an oddly piece of draft done by the very person that could make me burrow into the uncanny sense of losing. Ah, the drawing! It's not the best that I've seen. It isn't very much eye- catching. It may, of some sort, worthy of a petty praise. But it struck me! A whole lot.

He was one of the smartest guys I know. The one with that seemingly sheepish smile that could mask what he's capable of. The only person I know who could munch on "baringon" for a whole day. The one who prefers to play on a stack of "kawayan" and never worries about being tripped down. Those chinky slits that hides mystery. Not until he left.

I was, anyway, grateful for having to spend a part of my lifetime with him. Who never fails to assure you to study always. Who introduced me to the world of four- wheel's and yoyo's. Who would always be "pikon" whenever he loses in a game. Who would bet his neck that I could be able to decipher the language of numbers (he might be furious, I still can't). Who, for some reasons, get me furious for beating me out a number of times. I could never beat him and never would I dare to bet him. Not until he bid goodbye.

It wasn't much of a budge that he's suffering from leukemia. I was always glad to find out that I could pluck his hair in one strike without him being hurt. I would always have to challenge him in copy- whats- in- the- board race and would lose. I would always have to take notice of how odd he grips a pen. I would take time to brag about knowing new yoyo tricks and piss him off when in fact I don't just in the satisfaction that I get him furious. Not until he parted.

It was a loss. He was a loss.

If things would go my own way. If he was still bound here on Earth, he would create changes. I bet my head on, He would be GREAT. And, the next thing that's not far from surprise, he would beat the ass off me.

I would have not flunked my math subjects. He will be there to teach me and answer anything that I couldn't. I would have, at least, develop a minuscule of an artistic bone in my anatomy. He will be there to rant about my masterpieces. I would still have a lunch partner and would be choking on a mouthful of "baringon". I would have someone to tag as one of my closest, truest friends. But then again, I can't.

An endless apology for not being there through your hardest and trying times. Sorry, for not being able to ease your pain and sufferings. I regret the things I've done that had hurt you. I know you hear me. I know you feel me. Me and the people that appreciates and loves you.

Not as time will change would I forget a brother that had taught me the sensibilities more than a four- wheel and yoyo boy could have. The one that introduced me to a world of warriors and war itself. He is a warrior. A warrior that never backed out nor surrendered. A warrior that has proven his worth and value.

Warrior. Invincible.Victorious.

TYRON

Haled Tricio ;(

I'm in the midst of giving up and breaking down. Cause? My THESIS. It has been 3 months since I started to work up with my topic. 'Til now, even if the sem. had ended, I haven't passed a single proposal or any of that sort. Talk about being a major bum.

But then again, I'm an ordinary student who's trying to find his way against the grueling current of college. I'm in my last year, and hopefully, my last year of burning the midnight oil (cue theme song here). Well, I really doesn't care anymore. I know I could have done better the past years. But there's no point dwelling on that.

As a senior, I'm entitled to work on a study. In my case, I'm working with microalgae (I'm taking up Fisheries, by the way). I mean the proposal was good. The vision was great. I just don't know about the end- product. I'm really concerned about polishing the production process. Problem is, I have but a measly few knowledge about the process itself. Everytime my adviser would explain the mechanisms and procedures, I just cannot follow through. I'm asking her barrage of questions since I could not figure things out. She might think I'm dumb or what but I could not just get into her standards.

I should have picked a topic that delves with my interest, you may say. Honestly, I don't have anything within the scope of Fisheries that interests me much. Considering the circumstance of me, taking up Fisheries then it's safe to say I really don't have much of a choice really.

I'm thankful, anyhow. My adviser's good. She's great, actually. The people I work with are kind and considerate and all that. You know what's eating me up? It's pressure. Capital P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E! I have all the help I need but I'm afraid I could get stagnant and disappoint people. I'm afraid things won't end up good, to say the least.

I'm starting all over again. Back to proposals and stuff. Deciphering what should's and would be's. I hope I can get it right. I'm hoping against hope that I could do this. I'm holding on to the adage that one's I' m done and work's good, I would contribute something beneficial for science. I should not think of this as a ticket to pass requirements and be over with college. Now we're thinking. hehehe!

Funny, at this point in time, I'm trying to weigh on whose names should I put in the acknowledgment page. LOL;p

Wish me luck! The title's kinda' archaic, Just trippin'...

Pasado... aray, nahulog ako!

Ang hirap nang mag- Ingles. Mina- migraine ako kaya tagalog muna para wala masyadong effort. Hindi pa naman ako nakakain kanina kaya pihadong hindi gagana ang kakarampot kong vocabulary.

Siguro nga mahal talaga ako ni Lord. Kakatapos lang ng sem. Siyempre ayoko munang tingnan ang mga grades ko dahil most probably may nabagsak na naman akong subject. Pero ang mga hinayupak kong klasmeyt. Isang araw palang natapos ang finals walang tigil na sa kakangawa ng mga grades nila. Siyempre kailangan kong i- update ang sarili ko para may sagot ako 'pag tinanong nila ako kung saka- sakali.

Alam niyo ba na 'etong sem lang na'to ang tanging sem na wala akong 4 o binagsak man lang. Hay, pinagpapala talaga ni Lord ang mga mababait. Akalain mong Stat 101 at Organic chem. napasa ko. At, take note, (get your pen and paper) hindi tres. Siguro, suyang- suya kayo dahil Introduction to Statistics lang nahihirapan pa ako. Na- constipate kaya ako nang magsaboy si Lord ng talino sa Math.

Pero siyempre kahit 'pano nag- effort ako. Mahirap kaya magkandaduling- duling makita lang ang answers ng katabi mo sa exam. Ang hirap kayang mag- convince ng klasmeyts na pakopyahin ka ng lab. report at Case studies. At higit sa lahat, matinding guts kaya ang kelangan magpabalik- balik sa office ng professor mo para tanungin lang kung kaya pa ng standing ko na ipasa ang subject. Otherwise, kailangan nang mag- drop.

Pero kasi ayoko ko na talagang magtagal pa sa college. Alam ko nang hindi ako ga-gradweyt on time, kaya might as well, go with the flow at ipasa hanggang kaya ang mga kelangan sa skul. Pero masaya rin pala ang feeling na unblemished ang records mo kahit isang sem. lang. Siyempre ngayon lang ako naka- relate sa mga classmates ko.

Sana ganito na rin sa susunod na semester. Pero kasi may Biochem at Physics. Matindi- tinding buwelo siguro ang kailangan. Hay, Lord sana ipunin mo pa rin ang blessings para sakin next sem. Nang maka-gradweyt na at umalis na sa letseng skul na'to.

Pero hindi pa rin buo ang saya ko ngayon. Nakikipag- deal pa rin ako sa mga bitches. Pero hindi ko kailangang magpaapekto. Hindi sila worth aksayahan ng panahon. 'Alang kwenta naman kung pumatol pa. Okay lang kahit may bitches basta ba papasa lang ako. Walang kaso. Kahit palibutan pa ako ng 'sangkaterbang bitches. Pasensya, inis lang.

'Pag kapalaran talaga ang nagdikta. Lord, salamat ha!

CruElla de Ville strikes!

A hush envelops the air and pronto, you hear the distant screeching of vultures. They're the kind of persons you wanna least associate yourself with. They are those scheming devils who looks out for their best interests. Those f*ckin' bitches that spells out trouble! Warning lights on!

Contrary to popular beliefs, these minacious witches are so not cool. They are not the hottest of the bunch. In fact, they're just those filthy, second- rate acts romping at the sidewalk of Mabini. They don't even have brains as capitals. Yes, they have higher grades than mine but still unworthy of praise. They're not popular. They're not even well- off who splurges with latest gadgets and trendy clothes. But they are real- life mean girls.

The oh- so- spiteful bitches.

Funny thing, I knew them a lot. I, myself, had been a victim. But I'm not affected because if it affects me much I could, at a flick of my fingers, shove my fist into their throats. They intimidate a lot of persons and make themselves feel important. And they been studding their grim to many of my classmates.

Those gossips, criticisms, sarcasms and disapproval. I just feel so irritated that I just want to bang their heads altogether. I could also be accused of being mean. The case's not the same with them. They just going overboard.

Enough of this. Enough of the rave and rants. They're so not worth it. one valuable lesson learned. Be always ahead of bitches. You'll never know when they would strike.

Ciao, baby!

When Frodo dreams

My world is magic.

My world is where fantasy exists. Where dragons and fiend collides. Where elves, fairies live. Where wizards and supernaturals dwell. Where streams and brooks seem to sing in slumber. Where volcanoes await its time to grouch and grumble.

The powerful echoes of Middle-Earth. The enchantment full of wonder and magic. The fantasy that strikes like a chord. The central struggle between good and evil. Fought in ways that resonates in the subconscious of every living being.

My world like any other is govern by rules and concepts. Entwined with universal tales of legend. Transcending culture and eras. The ill- fated love affairs between men and women. Where classes matter in the circle of life. Where tragedy and separation from loved ones loom. Where floods is more than just an outcome of divine wrath.

With an irredeemable villain in the shape of injustice and power. Villains more chilling and cursing doom. Placing heroes under constant pressure from both internal and external temptation. A constant struggle against temptation and corruption.

This is my world. A world full of wondrous things, beings, and adventure. A world huge and unexplored. With vast treasures waiting to be searched. With endless mysteries expecting to be unraveled. A promise of adventure. A call of senses and depth. A virtual struggle to defeat evil. A world that challenges standards. An epitome of goodness and glory. A cosmo that inspires.

I dream of a world made of these. Amidst the crescendo of clashes between forces. Despite the Utopia of material things. This world takes us into the brighter side, the good things of life, and living itself. Where every being has their own free will to choose to do good and evil. That reminds us the tangible value of Honor, trust, truth, friendship, and Hope. After all, it is not the material perfection of the world that makes it. It's our spirits overcoming the battle of pride, pity, and despair.

This the true power of magic.

Glaring Web

It's probably the most of the understatement that the only son could be just like his father. Unfortunately, for me, and for all those that has the same accolades as mine, it never came easy. God forbid, it will never come easy.

An arbitrary sign that distinguishes you as the solitary half of your father. I dont get it why a lot of people who knows you would find it enjoyable and aggreable to compare you with the likes of your tatay. They conform in every respect that your one, sole picture of your Dad. And your glued to that oddly pristine label "the only son".

My relatives would always busy themselves pointing things about how I should act. Even on how I should look, much too my dismay. It's rather queer when a relative of yours would tell you point- blank, matter of factly, "Your so not like your father." And it doesn't end here. They would then barrage you with a series of punishing innuendos.

Even when I was just a piece of being, they would exclaim a bunch of enervating judgment. From the time I was borne out, I was readily associated with the infamous "nge, itum." But then again, it doesn't have much of an effect to me. My tatay, anyhow, is just slightly fair than I am.

Somehow, I was associated with a few salient tag. "Alam, buot, mahipos". I was practically fixated to myself back then. But things don't always ends up good. It regress to worse. Slowly, the "alam", "buot" remark was overtaken by a crescendo of disillusioning spat. Ranging from "maldito" to "gago."

Here comes my direct association with my father. It's always so easy for them to compare me with him. "Ang tatay mo buot." "Si tatay mo wala guid ga- bato sa amon." C' mon, how can you claim that not doing things your own way is not at all so tender. Would fighting for what you believe in could make a man disrespectful?

It is virtually a struggle for me to get pass these web of opinions. Withstanding a mare that constraints my whole being. I may not be as compassionate and kind- hearted as my tatay. I may not be as passive and tolerant as him. Still, I can be considerate. I still am raised well by my parents. I still have respect and appreciation. I still was inculcated with values and morals.

It's always a candid pleasure to listen to what impression you have towards me. Even if the superlatives are hard to ingest. Someday, I would outgrew all these criticisms. The silly, non-sense comparison. I would not let these things strangle me alive. Yes, I am affected. It's because I value you that much.

See, I can be that sweet. hehehe

Hate that I Love You

That's how much I love you,

That's how much I need you,

And I can't stand you,

Must everything you do make me wanna smile,

And then I like you for a while.

No!

But you won't let me,

You upset me girl and then you kiss my lips,

All of a sudden I forget that I was upset,

Can't remember what you did.
But I hate it!

You know exactly what to do,

So that I can't stay mad at you for too long,

That's wrong.
But I hate it!

You know exactly how to touch,

So that I don't wanna fuss and fight no more,

Said I despise that I adore you.

And I hate how much I love you girl,

I can't stand how much I need you (I need you),

And I hate how much (yeah)

I love you girl (ohh),

But I just can't let you go,

And I hate that I love you so.

Ooh,

And you completely know the power that you have (the power that you have),
The only one that makes me laugh.

Sad and it's not fair,

How you take advantage of the fact that I (I),

Love you beyond a reason why (whyyy),

And it just ain't right.

And I hate how much I love you girl,

I can't stand how much I need you (heyy yeah),

And I hate how much I love you girl,

But I just can't let you go,

And I hate that I love you so.

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me,

And your kiss will make me weak,

But no one in this world,

Knows me the way you know me,

So you'll probably always have a spell on me.

It's how much I love you (much I need you),

It's how nuch I need you (oooh),

It's how much I love you (ohh),

It's how much I need you.
And I hate that I love you,Sooooo!

And I hate how much I love you girl,

I can't (heeey!) stand how much I (can't stand how much I need you) need you,

And I hate how much I love you boy (yeeah ohh),

But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you, no),

And I hate that I love you so.
And I hate that I love you so.

So sick

Here comes the time when all of my professors seems to compete on who gives the hardest exam, the grueling paper presentation, and tons of overnight laboratory works. Everytime I finish one lab. exercise, here comes another. Whenever I'll be working to finish a project report, another exam amounts.

But I should, at least, had myself adjusted to this. I'm in my 4th yr in college, it's expected I'll be experiencing this kind of ordeal. No question I'm stressed out. I wish I could just brush up easily with all my works.

On the other hand, part of the blame should be given to me. If I should been able to manage all my works in a proper system, then a mean amount will be taken off my shoulder by now. If I've been able to make the most of my time, I should not be so "ngarag" everytime I go to class.

You see, being a student is synonymous to hardwork. And until now, I still cannot comprehend hardwork in it's truest sense. Yes, I'm a normal, ordinary student. Now and then I get to pass a couple of subjects. Fail some. hehehe. The outcome will always depict how much hardwork you've alloted for a certain thing. It's a great deal of hardwork, definitely.

Now, there's no sense dwelling on what if's and should have's. I guess this will always mark it's way as a significant lesson. And maybe, by now I could be able to pick up and learn from it. Even if, I've been passing through this for the nth time.

It's the extent of how you value school. I value school a lot. I may not have the highest of grades. I may not be able to graduate on time. I may sometimes doze off in class and worse, be absent for no reasons at all. But, I do, value school. I appreciate the fact that I've been able to get good, quality education.

The next time, no more excuses. This is the last time I would be scolding myself for being such a major bum. I should somehow get myself away from the bitter doom of failure.

I still need to read a couple of notes. I have an exam the next day. I wish I'd pass. I think I will. I've studied the whole Saturday. hehehe.

'Til next time... So sick of lovesong, so sad and slow, but why can't I turn off the radio?.

Icy nice!

This one's nice... I wish I have the skill to do this. But since I can't, I'm okay being fascinated and amazed with these.

Actually!

Let me try this.
the game of three's!

3 things I love about myself:
1. I can be trusted (for some reasons or another, this will count)
2. I'm adaptive to changes
3. I'm optimistic (olweiz!!!)

3 things I hate about myself:
1. I can be insensitive
2. I talk too much (I don't know when to stop)
3. I'm skeptical and oblivious ( teka, 4 na 'yon ah)

3 things I do after waking up:
1. check time
2. change position
3. sleep again!

3 persons I can't live without:
1. parents (this would count for 1)
2. mac- mac/ fria (isa rin lang ito)
3. ...

3 persons I wish I could be:
1. James Bond ( okay na rin 'yan kahit fictional lng)
2. Dylan Wilk ( I wish I could be that selfless... )
3. C. S. Lewis

3 persons I want to meet and talk to:
1. Einstein ( alamin ko lang kung may kwenta makipagkwentuhan sa kanya)
2. Roger Federer ( greatest tennis player in the Open Era... sa'n ka pa?)
3. David Blaine ( magpapaturo lang ng magic! hehe...)

3 things I can't live without:
1. love (thing ba 'yon?)
2. watch
3. a good book to read

3 persons I hate. (codename lang ilalagay ko, baka mabasa nila)
1. precious moments
2. metro- aide
3. heath ledger (codename lang ito!)

3 things I do at home
1. sleep
2. read
3. watch movies

3 facts I hate:
1. that I could not graduate on time ( I should have at least not disappoint my mutant of a father)
2. I'm getting old!
3. I could never be good at Math!

3 places I want to go to:
1. Madagascar... hehe (inspired by the movie)
2. Turkey (the Byzantine thingy... basta 'yun iyon)
3. Singapore ('eto 'yong pinakaposible... I wish!)

3 things I want to achieve in life:
1. be self- sufficient
2. have a successful career (sana related din sa Fisheries... pinaghirapan ko 'ata ang math at chem kahit papano)
3. settle down (sana...seryoso...sana)

3 things I wish I could be:
1. entrepreneur (tama ba spelling?)
2. photog
3. toy shop owner
* madami pa sana... sa susunod uli

3 things my friends would associate me with:
1. pippette (basta... may story 'to)
2. sweet corn
3. handwriting (pakapal na ang labanan)

Life, after all, is measured by a rational way of thinking and high tolerance for ambiguity.
(may konek ba?)

Boiling Under

I was preoccupied these past few days that I tend to forget a lot of things. My room is in complete chaos and I could still hear my mother's voice ranting about how a slob I am. Okay, that's quite an exaggeration. Apparently, I'm a total mess

It's October. How fast time flies. By next week I'll be more of a mess. Finals week is on the offing. And I need to get hold of myself to (for the last time) brush with the punishing ordeal of studying. I wish I could pass all my subject. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. But I'm hoping for the best.

I'm pissed off with Chicky trying to make up stories of me liking Moji. I mean, I should not be affected. All the while, I'm not affected. BUt she keeps on talking about it that I want to shove my shoes unto her throat. Good thing, I'm not that vicious.

Next thing I want is to finish my thesis on time. Hell freezes and I still don't have a concrete topic. It's my 3rd time to change project proposal. I might as well settle with the last one. Production of Bioethanol from Microalgae. I trust Ma'am Riza. I have the help of Kuya NOel. I'm still apprehensive of how could I handle a funded, big project. Sigh!

It's a holiday. But classes still goes on for me. My professor insisted on having class this Wednesday. Screw my Prof. Screw the subject. Screw me. Still I got a high grade in my testing 123. hehehe.

My head's still aching. My temperature went high last night that I had to pass out and stay home. I don't need a doctor. The bitter pill makes me worse. I just need a good, ol' rest. That's it.My mother's worried. But I insisted on staying home. I'm sure I'll be well the next day.

My sister's just texted me. She asked for a favor to help her with some of her schoolworks. I couldn't say no. I'd better be get going and do what she wants me to do. Blessed is the meek for he shall inherit the Earth. Blessed is kuya for he is entitled to help his siblings, at all cost. hehe.

I just finished watching a movie. El Crimen del Padre Amaro. It's quite disturbing. A priest having an affair with a Cathechesis teacher. The lady got pregnant. The priest resorted to abortion. The lady died caused by hemorrhage. What's crazy? He's the one who officiated the funeral. God, are these things happening in reality?

I still doesn't know how to do HTML. Hey, I ain't techie. I dont have a broad understanding of computers and the whishy- washy stuff it entails, neither. I keep on nagging my sister to teach me how to. Problem is, she doesn't like teaching me, really. You see, I kinda have a goldfish memory. (can't comprehend? it's ichthyology, man...).=)

It's been a long while. I better pack up and get going. I still need to go to the lab. I'll be monitoring the preliminary of my thesis. I wish this will end up good. If not, maybe I'll find ways to revise my plan.

So long.